Wednesday, 28 September 2011

swear it again

I wanna know
Who ever told you I was letting go
Of the only joy that I have ever known
Girl, they were lying

Just look around
And all of the people that we used to know
Have just given up, they wanna let it go
But we're still trying

So you should know this love we share was never made to die
I'm glad we're on this one way street just you and I
Just you and I

I'm never gonna say goodbye
Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I swear it all over again

All over again

Some people say
That everything has got its place in time
Even the day must give way to the night
But I'm not buying
Cos in your eyes
I see a love that burns eternally
And if you see how beautiful you are to me
You'll know I'm not lying

Sure there'll be times we wanna say goodbye
But even if we try
There are some things in this life won't be denied
Won't be denied

I'm never gonna say goodbye
Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I swear it all over again

The more I know of you is the more I know I love you
And the more that I'm sure I want you forever and ever more
And the more that you love me, the more that I know
Oh that I'm never gonna let you go
Gotta let you know that I

I'm never gonna say goodbye
(I'm never gonna say goodbye)
Cos I never wanna see you cry
(never wanna see you cry)
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
(swear it all over again and I)
I'm never gonna treat you bad
(never gonna treat you bad)
Cos I never wanna see you sad
(never wanna see you sad)
I swore to share your joy and your pain
(oh no, oh no)
And I swear it all over again

All over again
All over again
And I swear it all over again

Men vs Women: The Way We Say Things

"Can't We Talk?" (condensed from: You Just Don't Understand)

by Deborah Tannen

A married couple was in a car when the wife turned to her husband and asked, "Would you like to stop for a coffee?"

"No, thanks," he answered truthfully. So they didn't stop.

The result? The wife, who had indeed wanted to stop, became annoyed because she felt her preference had not been considered. The husband, seeing his wife was angry, became frustrated. Why didn't she just say what she wanted?

Unfortunately, he failed to see that his wife was asking the question not to get an instant decision, but to begin a negotiation. And the woman didn't realize that when her husband said no, he was just expressing his preference, not making a ruling. When a man and woman interpret the same interchange in such conflicting ways, it's no wonder they can find themselves leveling angry charges of selfishness and obstinacy at each other.

As a specialist in linguistics, I have studied how the conversational styles of men and women differ. We cannot lump all men or all women into fixed categories. But the seemingly senseless misunderstandings that haunt our relationships can in part be explained by the different conversational rules by which men and women play.

Whenever I write or speak about this subject, people tell me they are relieved to learn that what has caused them trouble - and what they had previously ascribed to personal failings - is, in fact, very common.

Learning about the different though equally valid conversational frequencies men and women are tuned to can help banish the blame and help us truly talk to one another. Here are some of the most common areas of conflict:

Status vs. Support.

Men grow up in a world in which a conversation is often a contest, either to achieve the upper hand or to prevent other people from pushing them around. For women, however, talking is often a way to exchange confirmation and support.

I saw this when my husband and I had jobs in different cities. People frequently made comments like, "That must be rough," and "How do you stand it?" I accepted their sympathy and sometimes even reinforced it, saying, "The worst part is having to pack and unpack al the time."

But my husband often reacted with irritation. Our situation had advantages, he would explain. As academics, we had four-day weekends together, as well as long vacations throughout the year and four months in the summer.

Everything he said was true, but I didn't understand why he chose to say it. He told me that some of the comments implied: "Yours is not a real marriage. I am superior to you because my wife and I have avoided your misfortune." Until then it had not occurred to me there might be an element of one- upmanship.

I now see that my husband was simply approaching the world as many men do: as a place where people try to achieve and maintain status. I, on the other hand, was approaching the world as many women do: as a network of connections seeking support and consensus.

Independence vs. Intimacy.

Since women often think in terms of closeness and support, they struggle to preserve intimacy. Men, concerned with status, tend to focus more on independence. These traits can lead women and men to starkly different views of the same situation.

When Josh's old high-school friend called him at work to say he'd be in town, Josh invited him to stay for the weekend. That evening he told Linda they were having a house guest.

Linda was upset. How could Josh make these plans without discussing them with her beforehand? She would never do that to him. "Why don't you tell your friend you have to check with your wife?" she asked.

Josh replied, "I can't tell my friend, 'I have to ask my wife for permission'!"

To Josh, checking with his wife would mean he was not free to act on his own. It would make him feel like a child or an underling. But Linda actually enjoys telling someone, "I have to check with Josh." It makes her feel good to show that her life is intertwined with her husband's.

Advice vs. Understanding.

Eve had a benign lump removed from her breast. When she confided to her husband, Mark, that she was distressed because the stitches changed the contour of her breast, he answered, "You can always have plastic surgery."

This comment bothered her. "I'm sorry you don't like the way it looks," she protested. "But I'm not having any more surgery!"

Mark was hurt and puzzled. "I don't care about a scar," he replied. "It doesn't bother me at all."

"Then why are you telling me to have plastic surgery?" she asked.

"Because you were upset about the way it looks."

Eve felt like a heel. Mark had been wonderfully supportive throughout her surgery. How could she snap at him now?

The problem stemmed from a difference in approach. To many men a complaint is a challenge to come up with a solution. Mark thought he was reassuring Eve by telling her there was something she could do about her scar. But often women are looking for emotional support, not solutions.

When my mother tells my father she doesn't feel well, he invariably offers to take her to the doctor. Invariably, she is disappointed with his reaction. Like many men, he is focused on what he can do, whereas she wants sympathy.

Information vs. Feelings.

A cartoon shows a husband opening a newspaper and asking his wife, "Is there anything you'd like to say to me before I start reading the paper?" We know there isn't - but that as soon as the man begins reading, his wife will think of something.

The cartoon is funny because people recognize their own experience in it. What's not funny is that many women are hurt when men don't talk to them at home, and many men are frustrated when they disappoint their partners without knowing why.

Rebecca, who is happily married, told me this is a source of dissatisfaction with her husband, Stuart. When she tells him what she is thinking, he listens silently. When she asks him what is on his mind, he says, "Nothing."

All Rebecca's life she has had practice in verbalizing her feelings with friends and relatives. But Stuart has had practice in keeping his innermost thoughts to himself. To him, like most men, talk is information. He doesn't feel that talk is required at home.

Yet many such men hold center stage in a social setting, telling jokes and stories. They use conversation to claim attention and to entertain. Women can wind up hurt that their husbands tell relative strangers things they have not told them.

To avoid this kind of misunderstanding, both men and women can make adjustments. A woman may observe a man's desire to read the paper without seeing it is a rejection. And a man can understand a woman's desire to talk without feeling it is a manipulative intrusion.

Orders vs. Proposals.

Diana often begins statements with "Let's." She might say "Let's park over there" or "Let's clean up now, before lunch."

This makes Nathan angry. He has deciphered Diana's "Let's" as a command. Like most men, he resists being told what to do. But to Diana, she is making suggestions, not demands. Like most women, she formulates her requests as proposals rather than orders. Her style of talking is a way of getting others to do what she wants - but by winning agreement first.

With certain men, like Nathan, this tactic backfires. If they perceive someone is trying to get them to do something indirectly, they feel manipulated and respond more resentfully than they would to a straightforward request.

Conflict vs. Compromise.

In trying to prevent fights, some women refuse to oppose the will of others openly. But sometimes it's far more effective for a woman to assert herself, even at the risk of conflict.

Dora was frustrated by a series of used cars she drove. It was she who commuted to work, but her husband, Hank, who chose the cars. Hank always went for cars that were "interesting" but in continual need of repair.

After Dora was nearly killed when her brakes failed, they were in the market for yet another used car. Dora wanted to buy a late-model sedan from a friend. Hank fixed his sights on a 15-year-old sports car. She tried to persuade Hank that it made more sense to buy the boring but dependable car, but he would not be swayed.

Previously she would have acceded to his wishes. This time Dora bought the boring but dependable car and steeled herself for Hanks' anger. To her amazement, he spoke not a word of remonstrance. When she later told him what she had expected, he scoffed at her fears and said she should have done what she wanted from the start if she felt that strongly about it.

As Dora discovered, a little conflict won't kill you. At the same time, men who habitually oppose others can adjust their style to opt for less confrontation.

When we don't see style differences for what they are, we sometimes draw unfair conclusions: "You're illogical," "You're self- centered," "You don't care about me." But once we grasp the two characteristic approaches, we stand a better chance of preventing disagreements from spiraling out of control.

Learning the other's ways of talking is a leap across the communication gap between men and women, and a giant step towards genuine understanding.

Monday, 26 September 2011

I messed up, I know.. please, hang on..

please know that I do want to be the best you can have..

well, I might not being my best yet and still letting you down sometimes.. but I hope you won't stop believing me..

I really hope you'll keep trusting me and waiting 'till I become that only one who will catch all your tears and share your happiness..

till then, please hang on..

I still love you, Rhandin....

Sunday, 25 September 2011


kalo kamu baca ini, ini buat kamu..


yep, itu masih buat kamu, nye..

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

me? we?

cinta, cinta, cinta..
kata mereka, cinta itu kejam..
banyak orang bunuh diri gara2 cinta..
banyak orang bunuh orang lain juga gara2 cinta..


gue udah umur 23, masih aja ngomongin tentang beginian..
sudah seharusnya gue ga ngebahas yang beginian lagi..
harusnya gue udah tau dan ga perlu bacot sana sini..
tapi kenyataannya, masih banyak yang belum dapet ide yang gue dapet..
well, entah ini bener ato salah, gue cuma mau bagiin aja..
semoga bisa jadi jawaban buat yang lagi galau nyari2 solusi..

cinta tuh sebenernya ga kejam..
orang yang ga ngerti cinta, yang ngelakuin malpraktek atas nama cinta, mereka yang bikin cinta itu jadi keliatan kejam..
dan kalo ada yang nyalahin cinta atas pahitnya hidup mereka, mereka seharusnya menyalahkan diri mereka sendiri..

cinta itu adalah hal terbaik yang Tuhan ciptain yang sudah dikasih ke setiap manusia..
hanya saja, pengetahuan yang salah, yang kurang jelas, dan yang termanipulasi tetang cinta, itu yang membuat manusia ga bisa lagi ngeliat kebaikan dan keindahan cinta..

sok puitis? emang! =P

dalam sebuah relationship antara 2 manusia, cuma bisa berdasarkan salah satu dari antara 2 hal ini:
CINTA atau EGO..
so, ga mungkin, dan ga bakal pernah ada hubungan yang didasari oleh cinta dan ego.. lo harus pilih salah satunya..
kalo lo bilang lo menjalin hubungan dengan seseorang atas dasar cinta, seharusnya ga ada lagi Ego di dalam hubungan itu.. dan sebaliknya, kalo ternyata masih ada Ego dalam hubungan itu, mungkin cinta itu sudah mulaii pudar dan menghilang..

ada yang bilang, "cinta itu selalu memberi dan ga meminta.."

cuman, ada lagi yang bilang, "kalo gue ngasih terus, kapan gue dapetnya? rugi dong gue?!"

well, kalo lo ngerasa pernah ngomong kaya gitu, tulisan ini buat lo..

banyak orang yang tiba2 masuk ke blog gue karena mereka nyari2 solusi tentang cinta mereka di google..
dan mungkin lo salah satunya..
so, kalo emang sekarang lo masuk ke blog gue dan baca tulisan ini karena lo nyari solusi buat masalah relationship lo, cuma ini jawaban yang bisa gue kasih..

selama lo masih mikirin diri lo sendiri, ga ada ceritanya relationship lo bisa jadi lebih baik..
dan selama lo masih ngarepin orang buat ngebales semua perbuatan baik lo, lo ga bakal jadi orang yang lebih baik..

yes, I'm talking to myself.. >.<

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

I still believe in miracles

I've been watching you closely up from Heaven
See the dark clouds hanging above Your head
As the enemies and vultures closed behind you
You feel you've lost with nowhere left to go

But I've promised you that I would never leave you
Though My timing's hard for you to comprehend
Do you trust Me and know that I am there
To see you through right until the end?

Do you believe in miracles?
That I'll part the sea and save your day?
Do you believe in miracles?
That I will be with you all the way?

For so many days and nights I've prayed to Heaven
While the enemies were waiting for my fall
When all around me felt like sinking sand
No place to stand, with only Your name I can call

Now I know my faith in You is being shaken
And I'm not afraid to say that I am scared
But I do know You're true to all Your words
You are my God and I know that You'll be there

I still believe in miracle
That You'll part the sea and save my day
I still believe in miracle
That You will be with me all the way

Save my day
All the way
Save my day
All the way
Save my day

Monday, 19 September 2011

time, please don't leave me..

gue suka maen sepakbola.. gue juga suka nonton orang maen sepakbola.. intinya, gue suka sama sepakbola..
dan sekarang, gue mau cerita tentang satu hal yang sering gue alami setiap kali gue maen sepakbola.. khususnya lagi setiap kali gue nyetak gol atau hampir nyetak gol..
yep.. gue mau ngebagiin tentang detik2 menegangkan waktu bola yang gue tendang menuju ke arah gawang..

selalu, setiap kali gue maen bola dan nendang bola ke arah gawang musuh, gue selalu ngeliat bola itu bergerak dalam slow motion..
bener2 lambat, sampe mungkin gue hampir bisa ngeliat setiap debu yang keluar dari bola yang gue tendang itu..
bukan lebay, tapi emang kenyataannya kaya gitu..

bahkan setiap kali gue jadi kiper dan lagi terbang untuk nepis bola yang menuju ke gawang gue, gue selalu ngerasain betapa lambatnya gue terbang itu, seolah2 gue bisa sadar untuk setiap mili meter jarak yang gue lewatin selama terbang..
lagi2, lebay keliatannya, tapi itu kenyataannya..

gue penasaran sama fenomena ini.. gue penasaran sama apa yang gue rasain itu..
sampe di satu saat, dimana gue nemuin artikel sejenis ini..
artikel yang ngebahas tentang waktu.. kenapa waktu bisa kerasa lebih lambat, dan kadang bisa kerasa lebih cepat..

disitu gue baca kalo ternyata waktu ga pernah bergerak lebih cepat atau lebih lambat..
waktu selalu bergerak seperti biasanya.. satu detik per satu second..
ga kurang ga lebih..
dan yang ngebikin waktu itu terasa cepat atau lambat adalah persepsi dan keadaan mental kita..

buat lebih jelasnya, silahkan click aja link ini.. silahkan baca disana..

dan gue jadi tau kenapa selama ini gue ngerasa masa2 kanak2 gue terasa lebih panjang daripada masa2 remaja gue yang juga masih lebih panjang daripada masa2 dewasa gue sekarang..
ternyata semuanya tergantung sama seberapa menariknya hidup gue di masa2 itu..

saat sesuatu itu menarik, kita, manusia, akan selalu bisa menikmati setiap detik yang berlalu..
saat kita tertarik akan sesuatu, kita akan selalu memperhatikan setiap detail yang ada..
semakin menarik, semakin detail kita memperhatikan..
ini hal yang normal yang selalu terjadi pada setiap orang, termasuk gue, termasuk lo yang ngebaca..

sama seperti waktu yang terasa lambat waktu bola sepakan gue menuju ke gawang musuh, seperti itu juga waktu yang terasa lambat saat gue pertama kali ngerasain jatuh cinta waktu SD dulu.. well, walopun cuma cinta monyet..
saat gue excited, saat adrenalin gue kepompa, saat jantung gue berdetak kencang, saat itulah waktu terasa lebih lambat..
gue bisa menikmati setiap detik yang berlalu..


emang bener2 kata orang, "idup itu cuma sekali, kalo ga bisa dinikmati, buat apa lagi?"

dan sekarang, gue ngerasa idup gue ga semenarik dulu..
to be honest, most of you guys are feeling the same.. don't lie!

so, daripada idup lo sia2, daripada ntar waktu lo udah ngadepin sakaratul maut, baru lo mulai nyesel dan mulai nyoba berusaha buat idup lebih lama lagi, mending dari sekarang lo coba isi idup lo dengan hal2 yang menarik dan berguna buat orang lain..
make sure kapanpun Dia Yang Maha Kuasa manggil lo balik, lo ga takut dan ga nyesel karena idup lo yang ga berguna..
make sure waktu Dia manggil lo balik, lo bisa senyum dan bilang "I did it!"

friends, idup bukan cuma tentang duit, duit, duit dan duit.. karena ntar waktu lo sudah diujung idup, lo ga bakal nganggep duit itu berharga lagi..
idup juga bukan cuma tentang kepuasan sesaat.. idup itu tentang tabungan kepuasan yang bakal lo ambil ntar, saat mata lo hampir ketutup untuk selamanya..


let's take a few seconds of your precious time now, think about things make you happy, think about your loved ones..
do something worth your time, even if it's just as simple as saying "I love you" which takes only 1 second to say..
let them know how much they mean to you, as if today will be your last day living in this world..
and treasure every single day, hour, minute and second you spend with them for that's the only thing you can bring along forever..

let me know that you love me just like I let you know how much I love you..


Saturday, 17 September 2011

Ronaldinho aje ganteng kalo senyum! =P

ga semua orang punya muka ganteng atau cantik..
ga semua orang dapet berkat dilahirkan dengan wajah yang menarik..
tapi, semua orang bisa jadi KEREN..

yep.. itu kenapa gue pernah bilang, "orang jelek ga boleh masuk surga.."

gue bukannya nyoba2 buat ngejudge orang atau berusaha buat jadi Tuhan..
gue cuma mau nyampein pendapat gue aja disini, dan semoga bisa bikin kita semua belajar buat ngerti gimana caranya bikin dunia ini jadi sedikit lebih indah untuk ditinggali..

beberapa hari yang lalu, waktu gue lagi nungguin temen gue di stasiun MRT Orchard, gue ngeliat ada satu cewe, dengan dandanan menarik, baju bagus, tas yang keliatannya mahal, dan muka yang (maaf) kurang menarik.. =P
awalnya gue ngeliat dia biasa aja, karena menurut gue, dia udah berusaha untuk menjadi menarik.. dan gue menghargai usahanya itu..

tapiiii... penghargaan gue itu cuma berlangsung sekejap..
karena ga sampe 1 menit sejak pertama gue ngeliat cewe itu, gue ngeliat kejadian yang bener2 ngubah 180 derajat pandangan gue dan apresiasi gue ke dia..
kejadian yang sebenernya ga perlu terjadi.. kejadian yang malah bikin dia keliatan super jelek di mata gue..

barusan aja dia keluar ngetap EZ-link cardnya, sambil jalan menuju ke ION, dia ga sengaja bersenggolan sama cewe laen yang mungkin emang lagi terburu2..
wajar bisa bersenggolan, karena emang jam 7 malem gitu MRT orchard ramenya bukan main..
dan bersenggolannya itu sebenernya ga sebegitu parahnya, hanya tas bersenggolan dengan tas.. well, mungkin juga tas mereka aja yang ganjen.. =P

nah, yang bikin gue ngeliat cewe itu jelek adalah karena respon dia terhadap "persenggolan kedua tas" itu..

dia langsung ngelipet mukanya, dan menggerutu sejelek2nya.. sambil sedikit2 ngelap tasnya yang kayanya mahal itu, sambil ngeliat2 misuh2 si cewe lain yang tasnya ga sengaja bersenggolan tadi..
dia langsung pasang muka super jelek.. muka yang paling jelek yang pernah gue liat! sumpeh!


gue nyoba buat ngerti kenapa respon si jelek itu kaya gitu.. padahal yang bersenggolan itu cuma tas sama tas, dan itu pun di keramaian stasiun MRT orchard.. dimana semuanya itu masih bisa dibilang amat sangat wajar..

mungkinkah tas itu tas pinjaman?

mungkinkah tas itu super mahal?

atau mungkinkah dia lagi bete? sehingga pas ada kejadian kecil yang sebenernya ga sebegitu pentingnya, dia langsung ngerespon dengan sebegitu jeleknya?

gue tetep aja ga abis pikir..

man, kalo lo tau lo ga seganteng atau secantik itu, please find some way to look better..
kalo lo tau muke lo itu pas2an, jangan pasang tampang atau gesture jelek lagi.. sudah cukup lah jeleknya dari bentuk defaultnya aja.. ga usah di modif jadi tambah jelek lagi..
dan kalo lo tau muke lo ga bisa diapa2in lagi, sikap dan sifat lo yang harus lo benerin.. supaya orang lain bisa enak ngobrol sama lo..

dan kalo emang lo bingung gimana caranya biar keliatan sedikit lebih menarik, gampang! senyum aje!


Friday, 16 September 2011

ga semua yang lo liat itu bener

"Finally you'd want to go down and tell everyone about everything you've discovered. Except, and here's the hilarious part, they think you've gone fucking crazy. You'd say, 'Guys, real trees are green!' and they'd say, 'What the fuck is green? THAT is a tree over there.' And you'd squint and look at the wall, but you know you're fucked because now you're used to having sunlight, and now you can't see shit. So they'd laugh at you, and agree that wherever it was that you went, no one should go there because it turns people into dickheads.

gue suka mikir hal2 yang ga dipikirin orang.. sampe kadang orang anggep gue gila, ga rasional, dan gue kebanyakan waktu nganggur..
tapi, kenyataannya nggak gitu.. gue ga gila..
gue cuma seneng sama filosofi.. walopun gue bukan filsuf..

ada yang bilang, "ngomongin filosofi itu ngabisin waktu.. ga ada realitanya.."
tapi buat gue, justru filosofi itu yang nentuin gimana realita yang sebenernya..
filosofi atau pandangan seseorang terhadap sesuatu, itu yang nentuin gimana dia bakal idup..

gue pernah baca dan nonton video yang ngomongin teori Plato tentang Allegory of Cave.. dan menurut gue teori ini keren banget karena udah ngebuka mata gue terhadap beberapa hal..
so, ada baeknya kalo kalian emang sempet, baca tulisan yang gue kutip diatas (click aja), atau nonton videonya di bawah ini yang ga lebih dari 3.5 menit..

disitu dijelasin gimana ignorantnya manusia, dan bahwa gimana manusia bertindak itu bener2 tergantung dari apa yang mereka lihat, alami dan dengar selama hidupnya..
buat kita, selama kita belum "melihat" kebenaran, kita akan menganggap bahwa apa yang kita tau itulah yang benar..
sebegitu ignorantnya bahkan kalopun ada orang yang mau ngasih tau kita tentang kebenaran, kita ga bisa percaya selama kita belum pernah "melihat" sendiri..

menariknya lagi, teori ini bisa diperluas lagi sampe batas yang tak terhingga..
karena emang ga ada yang tau apa itu yang benar dan sampai batas mana kebenaran itu benar-benar benar..


gue pengen ngobrolin ini sama orang lain, sayangnya, ga semua orang mau ngobrolin tentang ini..


Thursday, 15 September 2011

maybe I'm just useless.. :'(


gue ngerasa jadi cowo paling bangke sedunia..
gue ga tau kalo tingkah gue malah bikin suasana jadi tambah ribet..
gue ga sadar kalo ternyata gue udah bikin idup lo jadi tambah susah..
gue cuma fokus ke gue, gue, dan gue..

iya, gue ternyata udah egois..

gue salah, deyang..
gue ga ngerti kondisi, keadaan lo sekarang..
gue ga tau apa yang lo alami sekarang..
dan gue masih aja mikirin diri gue sendiri..

gue ga berguna..

maafin gue..
atau, ga usah deh.. gapapa..

gue emang kelewatan..


seharusnya gue kasih lo support, kasih semangat, kasih dukungan moral..
tapi yang ada, gue malah nambahin pikiran lo yang lagi ribet..
wajar kalo lo ga mau negor gue.. :'(

kalo ada yang bisa gue bantu, gue lakuin..
bahkan, kalo emang lo mau gue kesana, gue bakal pergi..
dan sekarang, gue cuma bisa naekin doa2 gue, semoga lo tetep kuat, tetep semangat ngadepin semuanya..

gue berdoa juga supaya mami cepet sembuh, dikasih kekuatan sama Dia buat ngelawan sakit2nya..
dan gue berdoa supaya lo ama echa juga tetep dijagai kesehatannya sama Dia, supaya bisa ngerawat mami tanpa harus ikut2an sakit..
gue selalu berdoa buat keluarga deyang..

deyang, maaf kalo aku malah nambahin masalah..
semoga keluarga kamu dirawat sama Tuhan Yang Maha Penyayang yah..


Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Playing God?

I can't make my own decisions
Or make any with precision
Well, maybe you should tie me up
So I don't go where you don't want me

You say that I been changing
That I'm not just simply aging
Yeah, how could that be logical?
Just keep on cramming ideas down my throat

Oh, oh, oh, oh
You don't have to believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off

Next time you point a finger
I'll point it to the mirror

If God's the game that you're playing
Well, we must get more acquainted
Because it has to be so lonely
To be the only one who's holy

It's just my humble opinion
But it's one that I believe in
You don't deserve a point of view
If the only thing you see is you

Oh, oh, oh, oh
You don't have to believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off

Next time you point a finger
I'll point it to the mirror

This is the last second chance
(I'll point you to the mirror)
I'm half as good as it gets
(I'll point you to the mirror)

I'm on both sides of the fence
(I'll point you to the mirror)
Without a hint of regret
I'll hold you to it

I know you don't believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off

Next time you point a finger
I'll point you to the mirror

I know you won't believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off

Next time you point a finger
I'll point you to the mirror
_ _ _

lagi demen ama lagu ini, jadi gue bagi aja.. =D

Tuesday, 13 September 2011

ah, becanda kamu.. ;)


so, dalam beberapa bulan terakhir ini gue lagi demen banget nonton stand up comedy..
dan kali ini, gue bakal ngobrol sedikit tentang stand up comedy ini..
there'll be nothing heavy in this post.. =)

awalnya sih gue cuma ngikut2 rumet gue yang suka nontonin si Russel Peter..
ternyata dia iseng nyari stand up comic yang lain, dan akhirnya ketemu lah yang namanya Louis CK..
dan coba2 nyari lagi, ketemu lebih banyak lagi..
dan pada umumnya mereka emang lucu2.. haha..

gue yang akhirnya jadi ikutan kecanduan, iseng2 nyari2 stand up comedy di youtube.. dan ketemu lah yang namanya Comedy Cafe yang isinya orang2 indo doang..
ada Raditya Dika disana, ada juga si Panji yang kata temen gue mirip gue..
entah darimana dia bisa ngomong gue mirip si Panji, yang jelas gue lebih ganteng daripada dia.. uh yeah! XD

karena gue ama rumet gue ini udah bener2 kerajingan stand up comedy, berawal dari percakapan 2 orang iseng dimana yang satu bosen sama kerjaan dan yang satu emang belum dapet kerjaan, jadinya kita berdua mutusin buat nyoba ngejoke di depan temen2 kita..
diawali debut pertama di acara Image Celebration di Orchard Parade Hotel yang bisa dibilang debut gue yang gagal..

untungnya, waktu itu kaga ada yang ngerekam pake media apapun itu.. so, gue ga perlu malu ngeliat muka gue sendiri yang gagal ngelucu..
yep, perasaan yang paling sakit adalah waktu lo nyoba ngelawak dan kaga ada yang ketawa..
mending gue bunuh diri.. =P

dan penampilan gue kedua adalah hari minggu kemaren, 11 September 2011, bertepatan dengan peringatan 10 tahun runtuhnya gedung kembar WTC di US..
dan kali ini nasib berkata beda..
gue bisa dibilang berhasil.. =P

so, tanpa banyak bacot basa basi lagi, mending lo orang nonton aja rekaman video stand up gue di depan anak2 IMAGE, sesaat selesai ibadah di Landmark Village Hotel..

enjoy.. =)

Friday, 9 September 2011

life in a room

will I face that same phase again?
will I be prepared to be there again?
will I be strong to sing another song?

"life is a series of rooms", one says..
and those rooms are not just empty rooms.. we're stuck in one room at a time with some people; the people we have to deal with, the people that can help us to move to another room..

what room you're entering next is totally depending on how you interact with those people you're stuck with now..
you'll might enter a new room of which you've never been in before, or you'll just enter the same old room because you still have to deal with the same problem and same people before you can enter another different room..

it's not confusing though sometimes it's frustrating..
you just need to make sure that every time you enter a new room, you'll leave that room peacefully and never come back inside there..
you just need to close the door once you're out from it..

but remember, leave it open while you're still inside, to let other people to come in and join the party..


Thursday, 8 September 2011


bekicotmuda mau ngucapin terima kasih yang sebesar2nya atas semua dukungan, masukan, saran dan kritik yang sudah disampaikan oleh temen2 pembaca semua sejak dari pertama kali bekicotmuda ini ada sampai hari ini..
tanpa itu semua, mungkin bekicotmuda ga bakal ada sebagaimana dia ada sekarang.. =)

ga kerasa, sudah 4 tahun lebih gue nulis di blog ini..
terhitung sejak tanggal 4 september 2011, dengan tulisan pertama gue yang bener2 ga penting, tanpa sadar gue udah nulis lebih dari 400 blogpost di bekicotmuda ini..
dan itu berarti itungan rata2nya adalah 100 post per tahun.. dan itu berarti juga 2 post per minggu.. WOW!

gue sebenernya ga gitu pinter nulis, juga ga gitu pinter mengutarakan pendapat gue entah lewat tulisan, gambar, atau nyanyian..
cuma, gue mau belajar buat bisa berbagi apapun itu yang udah gue dapet selama gue idup, dengan harapan bahwa setiap pengalaman gue bisa berguna bagi orang lain..
yep.. gue pengen ada orang2 lain yang belajar buat bisa jadi lebih bijak lagi dari pengalaman2 gue akibat ketidakbijakan gue di masa lalu.. =)


kaya apa yang tertulis di header blog ini, apapun itu yang gue tulis disini adalah dunia dari sudut pandang gue sebagai seorang anak kelahiran tahun '88 yang mungkin ga bakal idup sampai datangnya tahun '88 itu lagi..
dan itu berarti juga, apapun yang tertulis disini, yang sudah kalian baca ataupun yang akan kalian baca, semuanya itu bisa membuat kalian ngerti gimana cara pikir gue, cara pandang gue terhadap apapun itu yang gue bahas di blog ini..
intinya, harusnya lewat blog ini, kalian bisa tau gue, bisa kenal gue walopun mungkin kita belum pernah bertemu face to face..

dan terakhir, mengiringi ucapan terima kasih yang kesekian kalinya buat semua dukungan dan kesetiaan kalian ngebaca blog ini, ijinin gue kasih kalian satu lagu yang mudah2an bisa ngehibur kalian untuk hari ini..

please enjoy.. =)

Monday, 5 September 2011

hold my hands....

5 tahun kemarau, kamu datang..
bawa semua mimpi, bawa semua visi, bawa semua rasa sayang..
ga lama, tapi itu cukup untuk bikin aku yakin kalo kamu bukan kebetulan masuk ke idup aku..

kalo dulu aku pernah bilang, "kita harus siap sama apapun yang ada di depannya, entah baik atau buruk..", ternyata aku sendiri yang ga pernah siap..
kalo dulu aku pernah bilang, "kita pasti kuat kok ngejalanin ini sama2..", ternyata aku sendiri yang lemah..
ternyata aku ga seperti yang aku bilang..

I act like I can handle this.. apparently, I can't..
I act like I'm the strongest person.. apparently, when it comes to this, I can't even stand on my own feet..
I act like I will continue my life just fine, like before.. but I know I won't..

I don't want to blame anyone.. I don't even know who to blame..
all I know is now, we might not belong to each other.. but, who knows the future?
all we can do is putting our trust in Him.. like you said, "He is in charge of everything.."




Friday, 2 September 2011

F = m.g

and so, gue barusan ini ga sengaja ngebaca ulang postingan2 gue di bulan april taon 2009..
dan gue baru inget kalo dulu gue pernah coba test personality online..
sekarang, gue baru nyadar lagi kenapa gue begini, kenapa gue begitu..
karena setelah 2 taon lebih, ternyata gue makin mirip sama apa yang ada di result testnya itu..

well, anyway, tulisan gue kali ini ga ada hubungannya sama postingan gue itu ataupun test personality atau apapun itu..
tulisan gue kali ini bakal ngebahas apa yang kepikiran di otak gue sebelum gue buka2 blog gue tadi..


menurut apa yang gue pelajari di masa2 SMA dulu, dan ditunjang sama mbah wiki, "gravitasi adalah gaya tarik-menarik yang terjadi antara semua partikel yang mempunyai massa di alam semesta".
dan itu berarti untuk segala hal yang punya massa, pasti bisa menimbulkan gaya tarik terhadap hal bermassa lain yang bisa juga disebut dengan gravitasi..

gaya gravitasi yang tarik menarik ini juga termasuk dalam teori relativitasnya ngkong einstein..
secara singkat, satu benda relatif tertarik ke benda lain jika keduanya memiliki massa.. begitu juga sebaliknya dengan benda yang lain itu..

bingung? gini gue jelasin..

setiap benda yang ada di bumi ini menerima percepatan akibat gaya gravitasi bumi yang besarnya kurang lebih 9.8 m/s2.. gaya gravitasi bumi ini cukup besar buat ngebikin semua benda yang terlempar ke atas, menjauhi permukaan bumi, untuk jatuh kembali ke bumi dengan percepatan yang sama; 9.8 m/s2..

tapi, bisa juga dibilang seperti ini, bahwa sebenarnya bumi juga mengalami gaya gravitasi terhadap benda yang terlempar ke atas itu.. dan bisa juga dibilang bahwa bumi juga tertarik dan mengalami percepatan terhadap benda tersebut..
hanya saja, percepatan bumi terhadap benda tersebut amat sangat kecil sehingga bisa dianggap tidak ada..

F = besar dari gaya gravitasi antara kedua massa titik tersebut
G = konstanta gravitasi = 6,67 × 10−11 N m2 kg-2
m1 = besar massa titik pertama
m2 = besar massa titik kedua
r = jarak antara kedua titik massa

nah, berdasarkan rumus gaya gravitasi yang ada di atas itu, kalo kita taro m1 = massa bumi = 5.9722 × 1024 kg, maka rumus gaya gravitasi bumi jadi lebih simple, F = m2 x 9,80665 m/s2..
dan lagi, percepatan 9,80665 m/s2 itu cukup buat ngebikin semua benda yang ada dibumi untuk selalu balik lagi ke bumi kalo terlempar dalam lingkup atmosfer bumi..

dan berdasarkan rumus itu juga, cuma ada satu hal yang bisa membuat F antara 2 benda bermassa itu mendekati nol.. yaitu jika r (jarak antara kedua titik massa) itu sangat besar atau mendekati tak terhingga..
cuma itu yang bisa membuat gaya gravitasi antara mereka tidak terasa..


gue belajar sesuatu dari sini..

tapi bukan pelajaran fisika..

gue justru jadi kepikiran tentang segimana kecilnya kita kalo dibanding Tuhan..
orang kalo dibanding sama bumi aja, kita bisa ketarik sebegitu kuatnya, dan bumi sendiri ketarik sebegitu kuatnya dengan matahari, gimana kita dengan Tuhan yang ga cuma ngebikin bumi dan matahari?

Dia yang nyiptain segala alam semesta beserta segala isinya, kalo Dia bisa dibilang bermassa tak terhingga, itu berarti gaya gravitasi yang Dia keluarkan terhadap kita juga tak terhingga..
dan itu berarti juga, ga ada ceritanya kita bisa berhenti bergantung sama Dia..
karena kita akan selalu ditarik dan kembali pada-Nya..

sama halnya dengan segala hal yang ada di bumi ini amat sangat bergantung sama bumi itu sendiri, begitu juga kita manusia terhadap Tuhan yang kita kenal..
kita ga bisa idup tanpa bergantung sama Dia.. karena, lagi2, gaya gravitasi yang Dia hasilkan amat sangat besar akibat dari massanya yang mendekati tak hingga..

well, bisa2 aja kita bilang Tuhan ga punya gaya tarik apapun sama kita.. atau kita ga ngerasain adanya gaya gravitasi yang berasal dari Tuhan.. bisa2 aja..
tapi inget, berdasarkan rumus di atas tadi, hal itu cuma bisa terjadi jika salah satu dari 2 hal ini terpenuhi:
  • jarak kita terlalu jauh dari Tuhan (mendekati tak hingga yang lebih besar daripada massa Tuhan yang juga mendekati tak hingga), atau,
  • kita tidak menganggap adanya Tuhan (massa Tuhan = 0)
so guys, ga ada gunanya kita berusaha ngejauh dari Tuhan.. karena justru yang kita alami kita akan jatuh kembali ke tangan-Nya, dan semua usaha kita buat ngejauh itu jadi sia2..
mending kita belajar buat tetap ada di dalam atmosfernya Tuhan, dan tinggal di dalamnya..
karena jelas, disitu kita akan aman..

"Hanya dekat Allah saja aku tenang, dari pada-Nyalah keselamatanku."